Elder Wand

After crossing the border into Serbia, the bus stopped for the familiar smoke/bathroom/long coffee break. We cruise into the parking lot and as soon as we exit the bus, a couple of dogs are having a welcome party for us. It’s normal for dogs to just be chillin anywhere because a lot here are homeless. I couldn’t stand waiting in the warm restaurant because of the smoke. Side note, everyone smokes over here, the grannies, the business men, the teenagers and babies. I stepped outside into the cold and had this amazing ice cream bar bearing the Nestle Crunch name and walk around a tid-bit and see one of the welcoming party dogs that is a light colored dog. The dog’s radar goes off that someone has actually noticed it and comes towards me with a slight limp and I can’t do anything but bend down and give it a loving pet and talk in a stupid tone to it. The second dog comes up and I notice that even though it’s a dark colored dog, it looks just like the inverse of the first dog, but cowers to the offer of love.

I know that my personality is more like the first dog. Even when I’m hurt, I try to get the love that I can and open myself up. Before this life altering experience that we call college, I was the second dog, cowering from accepting that people really loved me, which ultimately led me to desperately reaching for Christ. It’s interesting how God can send us little messages that we would normally miss unless we just look a little deeper. I love verses about illumination in the Bible. To be illuminated by God’s presence and Christ’s death and know that we have light in this world of darkness, the lighter dog was illuminated by love, while the darker was scared to accept it. Wouldn’t you rather be illuminated by a Perfect Love?

As I have mentioned, I’m taking a History of Christianity class here in Bulgaria with a professor that I was super skeptical about. I have learned a great deal, not only about the history of Christianity, but also about non-believers. According to the most recent census of Bulgaria, around 80% of the country claims to be Orthodox Christian. If 80% of Bulgaria is truly Orthodox, I certainly do not see that statistic ringing true. Not everyone fills out the census though which makes it more like a sample and people may have simply checked a box to move to the next one in the form. Bulgaria seems so secular, especially among the younger people from my view. It’s a whole different ball game here than it is in the Bible Belt of America. A typical person, even sometimes an educated person, has a completely skewed vision of what Christianity is.

I have forgotten about the severity of hell until my dear friend Whitney posted a video from Hey Arnold about a ghost train and after viewing it, it kind of reminded me of having faith and the hideous doctrine article, and I remembered why we evangelize. Sometimes I get so caught up in…… everything else, I question or forget what the use of evangelization is for.

Predestination.

That’s been my semester focus, both personally and for a grade. I have to write a 14 page paper for class and have my presentation prepared Wednesday. This has been a very challenging thing for me to research, not because I can’t find information, but because both of the main ideologies/theologies associated with this topic are strongly Biblically based but very different. I only have to have the more heard of and familiar topics research finished for the presentation, which is Calvinism. The other part is Arminianism, but I haven’t done a ton of research on this doctrine yet. The paper will not be an opinion paper, but based on facts. Hopefully, I’ll do a decent job and if you would like to read this paper when I’m done, I have no problem shooting you an email. This is truly a difficult topic to explain, but all things in Christianity are not to be explained, which is where our faith in the Father comes into play.

I went to Macedonia this past weekend with Kelsi from Montana and Cody from Indiana. We decided to stay in Ohrid the whole weekend, which is on Lake Ohrid and one of the oldest lakes ever and Ohrid is also one of the oldest European settlements. I cannot even describe the beauty of this place. They’ve got a good share of Byzantine era churches and breathtaking sunsets every night, the ones that are pink. Unfortunately, there are some screaming birds and a creepy Skipper running around calling you a liar.

We set out Saturday morning to sight see and went up to an old church where they were digging around. Then we notice that there is a whole set of bones that they uncovered and a man that could speak English and very friendly asked us a few questions and came to find out that Kelsi is an archeology major and Cody is a minor. This man was the head of the dig and basically gives us a private tour of what’s going on in the dig. The excitement in their eyes was priceless and that will be a memory to never be forgotten because we saw a lot of great things. The reason for telling this story was because it’s incredibly convicting to me. God is the thing that I have the most passion for in my life, but has that been evident? I don’t feel like I’ve shown as much excitement about God to unbelievers as Kelsi and Cody showed about an old pot this whole semester.

I want to shine God through my life, but did I put a screen door over my life? Why isn’t everything easy in the Christian life? When I turn away from sinful things, I do it to show my love and dedication to God, not because I’m afraid of the consequences. If it was so easy to say no to everything, how could I really prove my love to Him?

Summer Plans!
Will it be CWE or internships with the Navs, Wycliffe, YWAM, WGM, or OM? I’m not sure, but I could use some prayers about this! Pray that I would finish all my applications soon and trust God in this decision.

Randoms:
-I saw HP7 in IMAX in Sofia, Bulgaria on opening day. I might have teared up and gotten scared a little.
-I have a Web Design test on Monday.
-I have Japanese roommates next semester.
-I have great roommates now from Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan.
-I’m thinking about cutting all of my hair off. Thoughts?
-I need more music on my iPod.

I wish that I had kept my blog more up to date, because I just have so much that I want to say, but I don’t want to make this too long and unbearable to read.

Cold Hands

Back in Blagoevgrad.
Back in Class.
Back in Business.

If you ever go to Istanbul, be prepared. Prepared to spend money. All the little shops had beautiful things, beautiful little keepsakes and perfect presents. I liked Istanbul, but it wasn't stunning to me.

I did get to celebrate Halloween in Istanbul though, how many people do I know can say that? I was a "workout girl" due to lack of costume and trying to be creative. Everyone said I looked like someone from the Call on Me video even though I was totally wearing clothes haha. I enjoyed the night and the weekend and the girls I was with. On the bus back I met some kids and we were practicing my Bulgarian at 4 a.m. because they knew little English and I know little Bulgarian.

It reached freezing a couple of nights ago. It's cold in the morning, nice for about 3 hours in the day and then freezing at night, mountain life. I would like to maybe live in North Carolina or Colorado at some point. I enjoy this scenery.

Struggle. Being a Christian is a struggle. Being a student is a struggle. Not being in a familiar environment is a struggle. I love this experience and what God is showing me, but it isn't easy. I'm 20 and only lived a quarter of my life. To sit and think of how much more life I have to live is just crazy! I have so much more to experience and learn.

Recently, I heard about the site Total Frat Move and I started reading. It's sad to read, the fact that it's okay to treat girls like that and the girls don't mind and wear it proudly, the term "sorostitute". Apparel, money, cars, houses, etc. are everything on that site. Sometimes I take a step back and realize what world I'm in and man, I've really got to keep myself from being depressed or something. I pray that God makes my heart bigger for the people who don't know Christ, but sometimes it's too hard. Luckily, I know that it's not in my hands, but in His hands and what a burden I have released from me.

This post is rather scatterbrained in my opinion, but I'm having a rather scatterbrained day.

This is old news, but NEEDTOBREATHE and Lecrae released some pretty awesome albums recently. Go. Listen.